she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
