i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We have so much sex to catch up on
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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