You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
