when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
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