It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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