I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
