Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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