And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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