i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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