:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
