even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
