Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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