I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So squirting runs in the family.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
