My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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