My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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