so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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