Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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