I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
