I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
