i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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