Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
