All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
