just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
