I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I wear drunk well.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
