I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
