So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
