Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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