I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
