I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
