Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize