Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
