ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
