I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
