can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
