I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
two words...techno handjob
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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