Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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