yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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