Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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