Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
