Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
