Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I understand Curling. That high.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize