her vagine was all disorganized.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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