Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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