like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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