I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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