It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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