You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
