i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
