My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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