thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i've created a new STD.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
