I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
