addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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