i don't like sucking hair
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize