Duck Duck Cougar?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This is my gift to your gina
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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