i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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