im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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