Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
