I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
