Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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