did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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