Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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