Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize