hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Alive.
So much puke
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
