i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize