so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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